In this Huffington Post article about women, and some men, entering sex work to pay off student loan debt, a lot of the commenters are engaging in uber-judgmental and harsh commentary. So this is my response to one comment that seemed tone deaf and ill-advised at best.
"HHGodd: How is your credit more important than your dignity and self respect? Whatever happens to them they deserve it."
Ouch. Your above comment feels a little apathetically judgmental.
And since when has society/popular culture in America/the West celebrated or encouraged women to have/maintain dignity, self-respect, positive body image, or any other attitude that would have lead to a different sort of social outcome?
Women are mocked in comedy as not begin funny, mocked in sports as not being as able or as fun to watch, mocked in science as not being as bright (heck, that transgender Harvard prof said the major difference between being a woman versus a man is that as a man she is allowed to finish a sentence without interruption), mocked as being too emotional...
Women are mocked for all sorts of reasons beyond what I have mentioned here and which contribute to women being seen as objects. Objects of ridicule and sexual objects.
So not only is saying these women deserve some unmentioned but presumably horrible outcome a nasty and despicable thing to say, its also stated without consideration for the fact that one can only do what one's society has taught you to do, and wishing harm on other people is part of that culture too.
01 August 2011
22 July 2011
An Ode To Travel
Some folks were complaining over at NYMag on a post about a woman who doesn't know how to pack to fly in America about traveling being too consumery and there's no need for it. But that seems crazy to me as a reason not to see the world! So I had to post a response.
Why travel?
If you have ever seen Oahu sea turtles nesting on a beach that a seal just left in a "bad neighborhood" that still manages to have breathtaking natural beauty...
if you have ever seen whales breaching in the waters off Maui...
if you've ever seen the sun set in the Ocean from the Pacific Coast Highway in Nepenthe, CA...
if you've ever seen the glowing waters at night in the bio-luminescent bay in Vieques...
if you've ever stood in crystal clear waters with dolphins leaping out of waves a hundred yards out under the warm Caribbean sun as the sea gently laps at your body like a blessing....
If you have seen any of these things then you would understand that, despite my Abhorrence for all travel related elements - especially the TSA's insistence on defiling my person, sexually assaulting me, and invading my privacy - I still tough it out and will continue to as long as I can scrape the money together to voyage beyond my beloved NYC whenever I can!
Because traveling to new places leaves you new as well, and touched by the different energies, experiences, people, and points of contacts in ways profound and important.
Plus only through the attempt to learn and accept things, places and people different/other than yourself can you know how to see yourself in context, place your life in perspective. Through travel you come to understand that you are where the global and local meet, and you decide the rippled outcome.
This is why since the dawn of man people have felt compelled to venture out beyond their homelands.
Well, that, and to get drunk on white sand beaches and have steamy sex with hot strangers.
Why travel?
If you have ever seen Oahu sea turtles nesting on a beach that a seal just left in a "bad neighborhood" that still manages to have breathtaking natural beauty...
if you have ever seen whales breaching in the waters off Maui...
if you've ever seen the sun set in the Ocean from the Pacific Coast Highway in Nepenthe, CA...
if you've ever seen the glowing waters at night in the bio-luminescent bay in Vieques...
if you've ever stood in crystal clear waters with dolphins leaping out of waves a hundred yards out under the warm Caribbean sun as the sea gently laps at your body like a blessing....
If you have seen any of these things then you would understand that, despite my Abhorrence for all travel related elements - especially the TSA's insistence on defiling my person, sexually assaulting me, and invading my privacy - I still tough it out and will continue to as long as I can scrape the money together to voyage beyond my beloved NYC whenever I can!
Because traveling to new places leaves you new as well, and touched by the different energies, experiences, people, and points of contacts in ways profound and important.
Plus only through the attempt to learn and accept things, places and people different/other than yourself can you know how to see yourself in context, place your life in perspective. Through travel you come to understand that you are where the global and local meet, and you decide the rippled outcome.
This is why since the dawn of man people have felt compelled to venture out beyond their homelands.
Well, that, and to get drunk on white sand beaches and have steamy sex with hot strangers.
20 July 2011
Summer's Eve Marked by Arrival of an Angry Vagina!!
So, Summer's Eve which is well known for creating ridiculous, mildly insulting commercials for their seemingly unnecessary crap has gone one further. They've made three ads which seem not only creepy but racist, stereotypical, and overall plain insulting too.
Sigh.
The Black women's version talks about hair because no other women have hair or spend time on it right?:
I don't know which is more Odd:
1)The fact that somehow Summer's Eve thought that using a Talking Hand as a stand in for women's Vaginae totally made sense, or
2)That they thought producing commercials implying that selling hygiene products for women's vaginal spaces requires a Talking Hand that speaks in stereotypical 'whooo sista' girl' accented commentary made sense.
And thank you Summer's Eve for giving the Black Vagina/Hand an Afro because I was wondering what the hair was like down there on myself! Oh Yeah, I hope they do the same for the other racial groups!!
Sigh.
Oh and that's just my feelings about the commercial targeting Black women... there's versions for White and Latina women too!
The White Vagina/Hand talks about going to the gym, and is White so I guess maybe it has an eating/body-dismorphic disorder:
Advertising Mad Men: Oh Boy, we'll have the White one mention working out because only White women do that! We all know those minorities are so Fat!
The Latina Vagina/Hand talks about wearing a leopard print thong, complains about having children, and goes "Ay, ay, ay", of course:
Advertising Mad Men: Oohh lets have the Latina's subtly reference the Anchor Baby conversations by having her complain about being mistreated despite the hard work of having had babies!!
Sigh.
I wonder where the Summer's Eve Asian women's commercial is - you know, one with a slightly yellowed Vagina/Hand advocating for a good cleaning of their vaginae after they've spent the day cleaning other people's laundry?
Or the Muslim women's version - with a Vagina/Hand in hijab that just mummers quietly, unintelligibly through the heavy, black fabric.
Why not pull out all the insulting stereotype stops!!
"I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
-Professor Farnsworth
Sigh.
The Black women's version talks about hair because no other women have hair or spend time on it right?:
I don't know which is more Odd:
1)The fact that somehow Summer's Eve thought that using a Talking Hand as a stand in for women's Vaginae totally made sense, or
2)That they thought producing commercials implying that selling hygiene products for women's vaginal spaces requires a Talking Hand that speaks in stereotypical 'whooo sista' girl' accented commentary made sense.
And thank you Summer's Eve for giving the Black Vagina/Hand an Afro because I was wondering what the hair was like down there on myself! Oh Yeah, I hope they do the same for the other racial groups!!
Sigh.
Oh and that's just my feelings about the commercial targeting Black women... there's versions for White and Latina women too!
The White Vagina/Hand talks about going to the gym, and is White so I guess maybe it has an eating/body-dismorphic disorder:
Advertising Mad Men: Oh Boy, we'll have the White one mention working out because only White women do that! We all know those minorities are so Fat!
The Latina Vagina/Hand talks about wearing a leopard print thong, complains about having children, and goes "Ay, ay, ay", of course:
Advertising Mad Men: Oohh lets have the Latina's subtly reference the Anchor Baby conversations by having her complain about being mistreated despite the hard work of having had babies!!
Sigh.
I wonder where the Summer's Eve Asian women's commercial is - you know, one with a slightly yellowed Vagina/Hand advocating for a good cleaning of their vaginae after they've spent the day cleaning other people's laundry?
Or the Muslim women's version - with a Vagina/Hand in hijab that just mummers quietly, unintelligibly through the heavy, black fabric.
Why not pull out all the insulting stereotype stops!!
"I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
-Professor Farnsworth
21 June 2011
Airline Arrests Black Man for Sagging Pants, Lets Fly White Man in Lingerie!!
Dear U.S. Airways:
This crazy photograph of a man barely covered in lace might as well be made of neon blue flexible silicone, conical in shape, with a handle at the wide end, and sold at an adult toys gift shops because of exactly where Deshon Marman's attorney is going to push it into you!!!*
Update:
U.S. Airways has a Black man ARRESTED for having pants allegedly "sagging a bit too low" - but we all know he was truly arrested for the crimes of 1) flying while Black with Dreadlocked hair and 2) believing too fully that the protections of the 1st Amendment apply to him as well.
So they have Marman arrested, and the freakin' week before, a White man in WOMEN'S LINGERIE was allowed to fly, despite other passenger's complaints about what he had on!! I mean, for the sake of decency and public good, just look at the picture of what he wore!!!
Sigh. One of my favorite quotes from Futurama summarizes my feelings when I hear about conflicting, crazy, OBVIOUSLY racially/prejudicially influenced different treatment like this:
"I don't want to live on this planet anymore."
-The Professor, Futurama
[*if innocent about what I am referring to in this section, go here to see an innocuous line drawing and some writing about... it...]
16 June 2011
Racism Cloaked So Subltly
This was a response to a seemingly well meant, but ultimately un-reflective (and consequently tinged with racist overtones) article/blog post by Dr. Saturday about New Mexico football player (safety) Deshon Marman who was arrested for:
1) being Black and large of stature/width
2) having dreadlocks
3) wearing baggy pants
4) daring to ignore the power-tripping commands of the TSA agents that he pull his pants up higher - said TSA agents then followed him to his plane and had him arrested and charged with trespassing for #3 above... Sigh.
Dear Matt,
Your comment...
"Personally, I feel a little dumber for having spent a portion of my morning on it [Marman's story], and for actually feeling compelled to offer this parting advice, applicable to any situation you can possibly encounter in life: When in doubt, always pull your pants up."
...Should make you sad for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that your "advice" comes:
1- without recognition of its own racist underpinnings,
2- without any consideration of historical context, and
3- without real or simulated empathy/sympathy/attempt to accept that although some folks may live their lives differently than yourself, that does not make that difference inherently negative or in need of alteration/change.
Perhaps an example might make number 3 above easier to accept and assimilate. Impossible as it may be for you to believe, imagine, or comprehend, lets say tomorrow, all of US history is reversed: Brown and Black people were the imperial forces who conquered the planet and spread their ideology, and therefore - since 'to the victors go the spoils' - being White in and of itself carries a criminal undertone. So for example, folks get killed just for driving while White, you can and often will be harassed for shopping while White, and people will always believe you are less than capable, intelligent, and of sound moral constitution simply because you are White.
Then lets say in this flipped version of the USA, it is decided that an indicator of criminality worthy of being harassed in public or arrested and hauled off of an airplane, is wearing: Sperrys, polo shirts with the collar popped, LLBean anything, those hideous madras or Nantucket red shorts, or, God Forbid, simply having White skin! Then lets say, a White Man boards a plane wearing madras shorts and is expelled from the plane for it. Are you then going to say your final advice is "When in doubt, don't wear Madras on flights"? Because somehow I don't think you would tell someone that and really think it made any sense.
In the same way, your comment closing out reporting on this ridiculous incident doesn't make any sense.
Yes I agree with you, there will be tons of vitriol and horrible comments about this incident lacking in meta-consideration of all the elements that brought this epically-trivial power struggle to its depressing conclusion. And yet your awareness of this fact does not prevent you from ultimately judging Marman at fault - very unfairly - since he should have "just" pulled up his pants. As someone who hates seeing underwear in public, I might have supported this IF they also arrested women showing thongs above their jeans, or flashing photographers their genitals, or displaying bra straps and cups. If they arrested women equally as often as they harass and arrest young Black men for this allegedly horrific breach of public decency, perhaps... But, wait, no, its still not right in either case for clear reasons.
As a writer in the public arena I expect more of you Matt. As benefactor and progeny of the First Amendment, and the freedom of expression and speech it enables and ensures, you should know better. You don't have to be a libertarian - although hearing stories like this may push you in that direction - to think this much government interference in folks expression through attire is too much. Nor do you have to be very well versed in American racial history to decry attempts like this to stifle people's expressive freedom simply because it is almost exclusively expressed by one racial group who've been vilified, so they're easy to beat up on.
The First Amendment, although often under attack in cases like this with TSA ego-explosions, requires that we tolerate and allow people to wear what they want. Nowhere does it say that Marman's, or anyone else's right to expression ends and their harassment begins at the point where some schmo on a power trip declares they don't like what they're saying/wearing.
1) being Black and large of stature/width
2) having dreadlocks
3) wearing baggy pants
4) daring to ignore the power-tripping commands of the TSA agents that he pull his pants up higher - said TSA agents then followed him to his plane and had him arrested and charged with trespassing for #3 above... Sigh.
Dear Matt,
Your comment...
"Personally, I feel a little dumber for having spent a portion of my morning on it [Marman's story], and for actually feeling compelled to offer this parting advice, applicable to any situation you can possibly encounter in life: When in doubt, always pull your pants up."
...Should make you sad for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that your "advice" comes:
1- without recognition of its own racist underpinnings,
2- without any consideration of historical context, and
3- without real or simulated empathy/sympathy/attempt to accept that although some folks may live their lives differently than yourself, that does not make that difference inherently negative or in need of alteration/change.
Perhaps an example might make number 3 above easier to accept and assimilate. Impossible as it may be for you to believe, imagine, or comprehend, lets say tomorrow, all of US history is reversed: Brown and Black people were the imperial forces who conquered the planet and spread their ideology, and therefore - since 'to the victors go the spoils' - being White in and of itself carries a criminal undertone. So for example, folks get killed just for driving while White, you can and often will be harassed for shopping while White, and people will always believe you are less than capable, intelligent, and of sound moral constitution simply because you are White.
Then lets say in this flipped version of the USA, it is decided that an indicator of criminality worthy of being harassed in public or arrested and hauled off of an airplane, is wearing: Sperrys, polo shirts with the collar popped, LLBean anything, those hideous madras or Nantucket red shorts, or, God Forbid, simply having White skin! Then lets say, a White Man boards a plane wearing madras shorts and is expelled from the plane for it. Are you then going to say your final advice is "When in doubt, don't wear Madras on flights"? Because somehow I don't think you would tell someone that and really think it made any sense.
In the same way, your comment closing out reporting on this ridiculous incident doesn't make any sense.
Yes I agree with you, there will be tons of vitriol and horrible comments about this incident lacking in meta-consideration of all the elements that brought this epically-trivial power struggle to its depressing conclusion. And yet your awareness of this fact does not prevent you from ultimately judging Marman at fault - very unfairly - since he should have "just" pulled up his pants. As someone who hates seeing underwear in public, I might have supported this IF they also arrested women showing thongs above their jeans, or flashing photographers their genitals, or displaying bra straps and cups. If they arrested women equally as often as they harass and arrest young Black men for this allegedly horrific breach of public decency, perhaps... But, wait, no, its still not right in either case for clear reasons.
As a writer in the public arena I expect more of you Matt. As benefactor and progeny of the First Amendment, and the freedom of expression and speech it enables and ensures, you should know better. You don't have to be a libertarian - although hearing stories like this may push you in that direction - to think this much government interference in folks expression through attire is too much. Nor do you have to be very well versed in American racial history to decry attempts like this to stifle people's expressive freedom simply because it is almost exclusively expressed by one racial group who've been vilified, so they're easy to beat up on.
The First Amendment, although often under attack in cases like this with TSA ego-explosions, requires that we tolerate and allow people to wear what they want. Nowhere does it say that Marman's, or anyone else's right to expression ends and their harassment begins at the point where some schmo on a power trip declares they don't like what they're saying/wearing.
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